Late

I got this idea from a friend's blog (http://www.spoiledmenagerie.com). It's something she's going to be featuring every so often (if it's more or less than that, sorry K!) called "10 on Tuesday". Seemed like fun so I'm going to "borrow" it for today (yes, even though it's technically Wednesday).

1. What is the weather like in your city today?
Beautiful, actually. Warm, sunny sky. A few wispy clouds. Temps creeping up to where they should be for this time of year. It's a day to make you glad you're alive, one that can energize you as you soak up all that glorious vitamin D from the sun, smell the fresh air and hear the birds chip!

2. Do you like the zoo?
LOVE the zoo! So much so that we're members. We love taking the girls up there, walking in the fresh air and seeing some animals we'd never be able to. It's a little sad they're in captivity and not free to roam as they'd like, but I think the educational opportunities and excitement and adventure that the zoo can inspire in people offsets that issue, for the most part. And the zoo we're members of is very respectful of the animals and is highly focused on issues of environment, activism and animal rights.

3. Do you eat coconut?
Yup. Even drink the water!

4. Have you ever hammered a nail? Are you good at it?
I know how to use a hammer, yes. Am I good at it? So-so. I'm not all that handy around the house, but I have some skills.

5. Does your family have a vacation destination that you visit often?
Most often it's my wife's aunt's house in northwestern Minnesota. We tend to go there for extended weekends a few times a year.

6. How many pillows do you sleep with?
One. But it's a Tempur-Pedic­® pillow, so it should count as more than one!

7. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Hit the snooze. Once I actually roll out of bed, the first thing I usually do is take care of morning "stuff".

8. Will you send your kids to summer camp?
Not sure. We left Daughter #1 with my wife's aunt for the rest of this week and I had a hard time driving away. I'm gonna miss her! :`-(

9. What do you put in your baked potatoes?
Sour cream, butter, salsa, Greek yogurt. Not all at the same time, of course. Usually just one or two of them.

10. Did you take swimming lessons as a kid?
Of course! In fact, I took the advanced life saving class early. I had to. I had already passed all the other classes and that was next in the sequence. I wasn't allowed to get my certification on it, though, because I was too young. I took it a second time when I was allowed to pass. I'm comfortable in the water.

Redo

Okay. Enough is enough.

All the time I've been spending on here talking about how I've been doing so good, how I've been exercising, eating healthy and getting in better health? Well, that's kind of gone by the wayside for about 2 1/2 - 3 weeks. I've even had a hard time getting my "next meal or snack, on track" saying to work.

I know, I'm a hypocrite.

All I have are empty, easily countered excuses. It all started with me getting sick. I started feeling better, but then we went on a mini-vacation to my wife's family in northwestern Minnesota. I even brought clothes to work out in while there. They have a treadmill and live in the middle of nowhere, so an introspective walk in the country is easily accomplished. But I just didn't do it. I even relaxed my standards for eating.

I am very disappointed in myself.

All that changes, NOW. I'm back in my natural setting; my cubicle. (LOL!) I'm almost in a place to get back into my routine. The only reason I can't is because I came directly to work from my vacation hideaway and I didn't bring my swimsuit or workout clothes. So I can only concentrate on my diet until I get home. And then, when I get home, I can do some form of exercise. I actually feel like doing something, too, which is good. I haven't really felt like moving much in the past 3 weeks, so that's a nice kind of change.

The one thing that's been good about all this, though, is that I've still limited my TV time. I've watched parts of some Twins baseball -- even caught most of Francisco (Frankie) Liriano's no-hitter last night (yea!!), but haven't watched any sitcoms, dramas, movies or anything else. I feel rather proud of that. In TV's stead I've decided to revisit the books I was supposed to read in high school that I was too cool to actually read. It's a pretty heavy list, too. I got the idea from a website, of all places. They had a list of 100 books every guy should read, and I want to get to most, if not all, of them. (In case you're interested and have time, here's the URL: http://artofmanliness.com/2008/05/14/100-must-read-books-the-essential-mans-library). I'm not tackling it in any particular order, just whatever strikes my fancy when I need a new one. First up for me is Walden, from Thoreau. I think the second one will be The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri. Most of the books on that list are heavy, deep-thinking types of books. They'll probably keep me stocked with enough post material to last a long time. At least as a tie-in to my life and issues if not their deeper meanings in general. I promise not to bore you too much. But remember, this blog is a work-in-progress. I'm still trying to feel my way and get a topic, theme, main idea of sorts.

Okay. With the exception of that aside, this post was about me getting back into it. Water consumption. Veggies. Fruit. Whole grains. Exercise and fun movement. Cutting out soda. That is all restarting......

Now.

Experimentation

I am obviously a hypocrite. In my last post, I bragged about all the good that I've been doing in my nutrition and exercise lifestyle changes and touted our weekly guidelines that have been so helpful to us.

Whoops.

Maybe I'm being a little too hard on myself. I mean, I don't actually think I'm a hypocrite. That just seemed like a good opening and a little self-punishment. (Negative talk though, folks, is not a good thing. I need to stop doing that. But that's going to take some time. A LOT of time.)

What happened this past week was I got sick, my wife got sick, and our two kids got sick. Couple that with my wife still trying to recover from a concussion she sustained two weeks ago, and you have basically the makings of a "I don't care what's for supper" kind of week.

To be completely honest, we didn't have a meal plan, either. So it would've been a scramble every night to come up with something for supper, anyway. I like to think we would have come up with healthier meals had we been feeling normal, but we'll never know for sure.

Anyway, all this being sick, not eating right, not exercising and just basically feeling out of whack put me in a bit of a melancholy, introspective type of mood as I am wont to do when I am in that state. And I came to the conclusion that I have NO time for anything fun. None. Sure, I exercise, but I usually do it on my lunch break and that's usually heading to the YMCA to go swimming. An hour isn't a lot of time to get to the Y, change into the suit, do 30+ minutes of laps, shower, get dressed and head back to work. (Maybe for some it would be enough time but, as my wife frequently -- and accurately -- points out, I am a sloooooooowwwwww poooooookkkkkkeeee).

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the swimming. It's just really hard to use the exercise to de-stress when you stress about the time you're away doing said exercise. But it really is the best time of day for me to do it. I don't have to worry about helping get the kids to daycare, I don't have to be home helping with supper and getting the kids from daycare (the girls are 2 and 3 years old). Once they're a little older and in school, I don't think it will be as much of an issue. But for now, it takes both me and my wife to get them out the door and us to work on time. And I have a commute to work, so I'm gone a little longer already.

Where was I? Oh, right! The conclusion to the introspection.

After talking things out with my genius, all-knowing, "wicked smahht" (Bostonian accent) wife, we concluded something had to give. Between work, exercise, eating right, playing with the kids, chores and cleaning up around the house and TV time at night, something had to go.

Enter "The Experiment".

I have been a big TV viewer for a LONG time. It's always been a big thing in my house. Growing up, we knew TV. It's sad, and it's probably contributed to where I am today on the activity level and my weight issues. But it's something that needed to be cut back, if not cut out completely.

Now, I have my fears about this one. There are many. For one, I am a BIG sports fiend. Football, baseball, wrestling (REAL wrestling, not that WWE stuff), soccer, hockey, NASCAR, volleyball, swimming, tennis....the list goes on and on. I LIVE to watch sports on TV. How am I going to live without all those sports? Well, there is the Internet with all it's sports sites and stuff. I could read accounts on them. I could even catch a few highlights of the truly spectacular plays. Ok. That could be all right for now.

Another fear is pop culture/societal pressure. I'm really an introvert that doesn't know how to relate to people very well. I don't know how to talk with them. I've always fallen back on stuff TV has to offer for that. If I cut out TV, will I not be able to talk to anyone at all, even my family? I'm afraid I'll become the boring, uninteresting snob who doesn't seem to have a life.

I finally figured that maybe there's a better way to look at this. I have a reading list a mile long that keeps getting longer that I never seem to have any time for. That would be a good time to catch up on some of that.

I've wanted to learn to play the piano and guitar. I have both instruments here, gathering dust, just waiting for me to pick them up and start learning.

I've wanted to try my hand at calligraphy. I have 2 model ships my wife bought for me for Valentine's Day that I haven't even started yet. I want to blog more (maybe that way I'll keep the post sizes a bit smaller than this novel appears to be...). I can turn on the exercise games for the 360 or the exercise DVDs we have lying around. Hey. I didn't say I wasn't still going to USE the TV. I'm just not going to be as big a passive viewer anymore. A few video games and some other things will still be watched. I'm just going to cut WAY back on the mindless, surf-until-something-looks-halfway-decent-to-watch viewing that I've been doing for way too long.

I decided in the end this could be a good experiment. I'm actually kind of excited to give it a whirl. The only thing this week I'm going to allow myself to watch is the first round of the NFL draft on Thursday. It'll be hard not watching my beloved Minnesota Twins on TV, but there's always radio. And sometimes that's just as good.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a great novel I downloaded to my Barnes & Nobel Nook that I'm dying to start.

G'night all!

Successfulness

So my wife and I have been on a weight loss journey as of late. We've actually been quite successful in the short term. I believe in the past month and a half we've both lost well over a dozen pounds, each. And that's body fat lost, not lean tissue. How do I know? You got me. I don't know for sure. But we're doing it with a combination of exercise, increasing our daily movement, and sensible nutrition with the help of a registered dietitian.

What I want to share with you today is just a little bit of what's helped us. I am not saying it will work for you, or that you'll find it easy to work with, either. But these aren't hard and fast rules; they're merely the guidelines that we decided upon and have found to be tremendously helpful. And the best part is we actually started doing them before we met with the dietitian, so we find them to be easier to abide by since we don't feel that they were imposed upon us from the RD. (Just so you don't get the wrong idea, our RD did not give us any hard and fast rules to follow, either. There were some gentle suggestions and minor tweaks to what we were doing, but that was it. I wouldn't go to an RD or any medical professional who said it was "my way or the highway". But that's a different post, I suppose.)

Anyway, here are the weekly (not daily) guidelines that we have followed. I realize it's not for everyone. But maybe you can take a few of these to create your own guidelines. Or maybe they'll inspire you to create your own.

Without further ado, here they are (in no particular order):

• 3 days of exercise (my exercise of choice is swimming)
• 1 (or more) extra workouts from home (preferably a cardio workout; elliptical trainer, treadmill, walk, or bike ride are good choices for me)
• No more than (NMT) 4 dessert SERVINGS
• NMT 4 sodas (we've been REALLY successful at this one. Most weeks I only have 1 now)
• NMT 3 coffee with creamer (black is fine for all days. But I was getting out of control with putting creamer in my coffee. If I miss on any of these guidelines, this is usually the culprit)
• 6 or more glasses of water a day
• make a meal plan for the week
  
• journal foods, workouts and/or emotions to capture any unhealthy patterns or find any triggers for overeating

And sometimes we just miss on a guideline. That's fine. That's when this little guy comes in handy:

Next meal or snack, on track.

Not every day is going to go as planned. Don't worry about it. There will be pitfalls, there will be setbacks, there will be family gatherings that will be hard to avoid certain foods. Allow yourself to have them and get right back on your path.

Believe me. It can be done!

Ciao.

Undesirable

That's right. I am an undesirable. I kind of had it in the back of my mind before, but now I know for sure.and I don't mean in that romantic, sexual "I gotta have you!" way. (Heh, that went out the door years ago.) No, I mean in the way that I am a social outcast,a pariah of sorts because I am an obese person in this country.

I had two instances last week that proved it to me. The funny thing is, it's something that's been happening for quite a while but I never really noticed or paid much attention to it until recently.

The first incident happened with a podiatrist, of all people. Now, I understand that a podiatrist is a medical professional and is somewhat concerned with my overall health and well-being. That said, though, I went to him for problems related to my feet and ankles that I've been having when I've been exercising.I didn't go to my general practitioner for a yearly physical or any other problem. I went to a podiatrist for a specific problem. Did I get any help with that? Nope. I got a lecture on how I need to lose weight. How do I do that when every time I hit the treadmill or go for a walk my feet, ankles and shins hurt? Did you ask what I've been doing, if I'm working on losing weight? How about a suggestion for alternative forms of exercise? (Yes, I know the answer, and I've been doing it. Did you know that?) What about an answer to my question of how do I exercise to lose the weight you said I need to lose if I can't go for a simple walk on the treadmill without pain? And no, the "I know, it's a viscous cycle" answer that you gave really wasn't helpful. In fact, it just cemented the thought I had that you took one look at me, saw my weight, jumped to your conclusion and then went through the motions of the exam.

Rather like that other doctor I had 2 years ago when I was diagnosed with Low-T. He saw an obese person and didn't even bother with anything else. That is, until he saw the blood test he had me do just to appease me. Then he realized that there was something else wrong and called me back.

To any and all medical professionals reading this: Please, please go beyond the weight. There's a real person beneath those extra layers, sometimes with real problems. Where's your compassion?? Why did you become a doctor if you're really not interested in helping me and my problem?? (And for the small percentage of you that actually do care, thank you for making us feel like a person. Alysa, you're one of them. Thank you.)

And that's just the medical profession.

I walked in to a 2nd-hand exercise equipment place (yes, that was a hint) a few days ago to inquire on an accessory for my wife. They didn't have what I was looking for. But then when I stopped to ask about a stationary bike that caught my eye, the look and response I got made me feel as if they wondered why I even asked. As if my weight meant I don't exercise. Look. I'll admit I haven't exercised much in the last...15?...years, but I'm changing that. I've been exercising for about 2 months now, I'm loving it, and I'm looking to branch out and do more than just my 3 times a week in the pool. I would like to have a piece of equipment to do that. Obviously it won't be with a piece of equipment from that store. I wouldn't waste my money there. If you prefer to have an empty store to a person inquiring about the goods you sell, if you can gauge my interest in a piece of equipment just on my looks, my size, then I guess that's your business. I happen to think you're wrong, but it's still your business.

The worst about all this? I had been feeling wonderful. I had been on a couple-weeks' high from all the activity I'd been getting, from all the accomplishments I'd achieved by breaking previous exercise highs, both in time and distance. I had been feeling strong.

Two examples proved to me that I've got a long ways to go before I become "desirable". (And even when I shed all this weight...that's right, I said w-h-e-n...I'll still be undesirable because of this darn bald spot! But I'm at peace with that, so we're good.)

Frustration

As you can tell by the title of this post, this is going to be a rambling, complaining type of post today.

I am frustrated.

Why? I'm frustrated for many reasons. Let's take a look-see, shall we?

1. I haven't posted to this blog as often as I'd like to. I get good topic ideas but forget to write them down. So then when I DO have time to write, I don't really have a subject. That's gonna change. I'm gonna write down post ideas on my Android now. That should help.
2. I've been doing this healthy lifestyle thing for a while now, and I'm seeing little results. Well, on the scale, that is. My clothes feel looser, so that should be a good sign to me that what I'm doing is working. But I still want to see those damn numbers on that damn thing I step on every week to go down. Why won't the numbers budge??!? Especially if my clothes are feeling better?
3. I've been focusing on cutting back on my calorie intake and eating a lot more fruits and vegetables, eating different colors, getting whole grains in, eating more fish, etc. But the other day I was just SICK of veggies. I think, though, that I was just sick of broccoli and cauliflower. That has been our standard, our go-to veggie staple when we're in a hurry or can't come up with anything else. I've kind of gotten over that hump now, since I've had some just awesome roasted broccoli/cauliflower the past 2 days. But they included brussels sprouts and asparagus, too. So maybe the change has helped. The other thing is I just wanted to tear into a burger the other day. Not a healthy thing. But I also realized that denying myself the burger was a pretty unhealthy idea, too. Too bad I didn't have that thought before I ordered my meal. Oh well, it's a journey.
4. The past couple of times I've hit the pool it's felt like I've been swimming through Jell-O. What was once pretty easy to accomplish has just taken forever, with my muscles seeming to not want to cooperate with me and my lap speed taking a hit. It appears I've hit a proverbial wall with an exercise program. The trouble is, I don't really know what to do now. Do I take a break from the pool and do some cardio this week instead? Do I push through the soreness, stiffness and the burning muscles when I try to swim? Which is better? Which will help me get my lap times back up? I don't know.
5. UConn beat Butler. I was pulling for Butler. I'm not frustrated they lost. That was a very distinct possibility. I'm disappointed that they couldn't shoot for *@#%!!! I mean, c'mon! How can you expect to win when you shoot 12-64 on the floor??!? I understand that teams have bad nights, but the championship game is NOT the place to all of a sudden go cold with your shooting! Sheesh! (BTW, congratulations to UConn. Even though I was cheering for Butler and I think they played like louts, you had an awesome tourney run and deserve the title, gents!)
6. Now we come to my Twinkies....(That's the Minnesota Twins, for those of you not familiar with the endearing term for our beloved team). I don't know where to begin! I am certainly not a bandwagon fan, nor am I one who believes a baseball season is a sprint instead of a marathon, but...SERIOUSLY??!? Pitching was going to be questionable, but it's downright abysmal! And our batting? Ugh. Last night it was mentioned, before the game, I believe, that through the first 3 games the Yankees already had 11 home runs while the Twins only had 3 (THREE!) extra base hits!! Ouch! Seriously, Twins fans, there is no need to panic, yet. But this team HAS to settle down, or I'm going to be needing a case of Maalox a week before the All-Star break. Oh, and our high-priced, above-average hotshot middle infielder from Japan we just picked up? He already has 2 errors! I truly hope it's just nerves from playing over here in the US, but it's still the same game.

Okay. I think I'm done ranting now. Thanks for letting me vent.

Modeling

What? Me?? A model??!?

It's true. Recent research, that others have thankfully done and explained in terms that a layman like me can understand, has shown that kids pick up on what their parents do, effectively making parents role models for their children.

Now, I knew I was a role model before all this came out. But I didn't know the extent to how much. I thought it was just for things such as manners, social norms, that kind of thing. But now it seems my little ones are looking at me to much more than just social mores.

And it makes sense, too. I look back on my childhood and how my parents behaved. A little background is in order.

My mom and dad were VERY thin and in shape in high school. As the challenges of full-time jobs and having a family increased, their participation in physical activities decreased. Growing up, I remember my parents in various co-ed volleyball and softball activities. But those activities trailed off as I got to junior high. I am the oldest in my family, so the more involved in things my brothers and I got, the more it makes sense that they had less time for those activities. Which kind of brings me to my point. I never saw my parents exercise or do anything outside of those structured activities for their fitness. There were no real bike rides, no treadmills, no elliptical machines, no trips to the local YMCA or any other health clubs. Fitness was not a priority for them.

And it is reflected in me today.

Not only physical fitness, but nutrition was modeled for me as well. My mom was the main driver of our diet (noun, not verb). When she was on Weight Watchers, we all ate that style of meals. When she did the Pritikin diet, we did it, too. We were always eating the next big fad of a diet. Low-fat turned to low-carb, we did it all . I grew up knowing what it meant to count points, even though I didn't need to count points or attend meetings myself at that age. I was healthy and a normal young man, but I felt like I was overweight. Thinness was an obsession, one that was never obtained.

Now, it may seem that I'm blaming my parents for my sedentary lifestyle and current predicament. I'm not. Well, I'm not trying to, at least. Family was important to them, and they spent a lot of time with us boys playing catch and taking us to our various sporting activities. They put our needs first. But they never took care of themselves. Not in the physical fitness arena, that is. I never saw that fitness and health should be a priority in my life.

So it dawned on me as I struggle to get my fitness in, that I shouldn't feel guilty for hitting the treadmill. I want to be a great father. I want to be a dad that my girls adore and feel would give or do anything for them. I want to spend time with them and play with them. But I need to be around in order for that to happen. I need to take care of myself first, in that regard, so I can do all that other stuff.

My girls need to see that fitness and good nutrition is important in daily life. I don't want them to have to struggle to get started the way I have. It's taken me a lot just to get eating right and to get myself to the YMCA 3 days a week, and to hit the treadmill one or two more times that week. It's taken me a lot to love the taste of real food over the overly-processed, highly refined crap that my body doesn't want or need. I don't want them to have to overcome that kind of lazy inertia that I had going. I don't want them to be worrying if they can keep this healthy lifestyle up once they get a good routine going.

I don't need to do this for myself. I need to do it for them.

Because I am a model.